Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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