im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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