Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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