2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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