my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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