I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
