he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
