I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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