I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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