google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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