who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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