I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
