i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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