you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Bring me that man meat
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
