And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he was CRYING into my vagina
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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