suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
