i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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