Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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