And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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