these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
