worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
