Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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