don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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