He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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