I don't think brook has ever known best
do herpes really smell.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
