i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
