I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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