No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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