I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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