i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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