Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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