the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
