I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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