I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
