i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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