Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
