...so i touched it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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