i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My feet surprised me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
