I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
