I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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