youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
foreskin is a definite game changer
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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