I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
