Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
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I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
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Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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