I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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