Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
