I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
