On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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