if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
