16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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