I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
