so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
