I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
