i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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