I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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