Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
