On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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